This initially made me angry and upset but now, I find myself smiling over it so I thought I'd share. If you have ever been to my website at http://morethan1.50webs.com you'll know that I am a member of some webrings. Well recently, this very blog got deleted from one. Not a big deal you might think and yes, I'd agree. However, it was the ring owners reasons that got my attention. She cited that:
"This is a family friendly ring and your subject matter is too adult and descriptive" Now, this I can perhaps forgive the ring owner for. After all I can be blunt. She went on to say how she "failed to see how reading about your struggles could help anyone else". As you can imagine, I was shocked. Who was she to decide what is helpful to anyone? She also added that my blog didn't offer any "practical help " and that was not what she intended for her (precious) ring.
The story does not end there, because I looked in my e-mail and found her note introducing herself to the other ring members.. In that e-mail she states, "I will not allow sites that advocate legalized abortion. Abortion is violence towards women and children." First of all, she is entitled to her opinion but second of all - What COMPLETE ROT! A women's body is her own to do with as she wishes. Getting pregnant iis a huge shock to some women - especially as a result of rape.
Anyway, I wrote to her and expressed my concerns and assured her that I would have left her damn ring if she had not already deleted me. I went on to ask her, How she expected to keep a ring that dealt with adult women's issues "family friendly" Her e-mail used lots of long words but she failed to answer that.
Amid her wordy reply she also added that "emotions were subjective" and that "There was no healing in self pity" I can't really fathom if she is talking about my blog there. My other half thinks she is but, if I may quote: " the help through what to me seems to be self-pity. There isn't any healing there" I thought that ranting was a great way to "heal" No wonder she thinks that MY blog is seelf pitying! According to her, there is no need for emotions in her so called "healing process"
She also went on to present her views on how terrible abortion is but I am not going to get into that here. Her opinion will never match mine but I am not going say she cannot hold those opinions if she wishes. I'll just say that she seems to be one of those people who express nothing with a lot of long words, In order to make the reader assume she has is bright.
So, my answer? I have made my own ring. One that encourages women's free expression and is far from family friendly. The only sites we don't allow are pro ana, scaremongering, hate or porn. We encourage honest accounts of how your health affects you, on the good days and bad. Be descriptive, swear, rant whatever you need. We won't censor or judge you. However, be aware that all sites are checked before being added.
Goto http://r.webring.com/hub?ring=honestwomenshea1 to join!
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I know I haven't written in months. The reason is simple, I have been in hospital. If you look back at previous entries, you'll read that I was complaining of pins and needles and pain in my thigh. Well, I should have pushed my (old) Dr. to do more. In September, I had a very bad spasm in my calf muscle. The result of this was a COMPLETE inability to weight bare. Me and my man struggled on for about 2 weeks after it happened, but it soon became too much and on the 23rd of Sept, I admitted myself to hospital. What followed was 7 weeks of painful rehab. The therapists warned me that I probably would not be able to regain my mobility at the level I had been used to.They had discovered that my hip-joint was wearing down and as a result, my hip was moving and squashing a nerve. THIS dear readers, was why I was experiencing pins and needles. It seems that I will need a hip replacement eventually.
You can imagine that all of this has been a huge shock. I no longer weight bare and require hoisting to bed and to the toilet (I use a bedpan and commode). My care has been increased to 4 times a day and I have to go to bed by 9.30pm every night. It's hard on my lover, even though he denies it. To say the experience has been hard is an understatement. First, I was put under pressure by therapists to return home with a standing hoist. I DID regain some ability to stand, but only with hoist. Even then my progress was so sporadic, that I just did not feel it was a safe option. So, I have a sitting hoist. The first one they gave us was crap and painful, so after only one night at home, I went into a care home while they fitted a hoist to my ceiling.
I can tell you my friends, I have NEVER cried so much in my life! That day so so confusing and I was scared about what would happen to me. I was also angry, I had cried very little in therapy, instead just turning my anger and fear into energy. It seems that it eventually became too much and I just cried for England. Everyone in the home was kind and took me to their hearts as if I had always lived there. I also stayed in touch with friends I had made in hospital
Viv is a lady with MS who became my best friend while in hospital. I can't make an entry without mentioning her. She's a lovely women who supported me and listened to my moans and gripes. Thanks for your support sweetheart.
Now, we are finally turning a corner, we have a routine and we know what we are doing. We survived! YES!!!
A few things to note: I have no more thrush! It turns out that I did have warts down below, they are now gone, Thanks to a freezing treatment and some creme (applied by bitchy district nurses, no less)
