Healthy Weeza

I promise that I hadn't intended for this blog to become one huge moan. I promise also, that it won't always be this way.

Having said that, I'm in shitty fucking pain this week. It seems I've pulled a muscle in my thigh or groin. To start with, I had searing hot pins and needles when I woke up a few days ago, as a result I couldn't move. Now my muscles are FUCKED.  No fucking sleep either. gah, I am so tired. My thigh won't support my weight, it sucks. I hope I can get better by Friday.

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay in posting anything! My original appointment was cancelled and my new one isn't until the 6th of June, Of course I'll update you.

TMI warning.......................................

My thrush has suddenly decided to improve. I gave in and put a bit of 1% cream on ONCE. That's right, one dose. It's taking the piss, frankly. The next day, it was barely itching at all. Now, you'll know, I was given creams, pills and EVERYTHING gave up for ages and decided to just grin and bare it. About a week ago, it was itching so bad,  that I put cream on like I have tons of times. This time, it seems to have worked. Don't ask me why, but I am just relieved. Some soreness is still there, but it's nothing compared to what it was like before.

................................................................

Before I go on, I should say that never intended for this blog to feature anything about my compulsive eating problem. However, I do need to lay out my feelings regarding it somewhere and this is a health blog, after all.

 The reasons I eat are many. First and foremost, I like the taste of foods. Nothing annoys me more, than the theories about emotional eating. I am not a woman who reaches for the ice-cream every time anyone upsets me, nor do I use food to cheer myself up. Rather, I feel better emotionally when I eat well.
 Dear reader, it would be fair at this point, to ask 'why don't you eat well, all the time?'  Well, yeah. Why don't I? The reasons stem from the fact that I am a social eater. I love eating out at family pubs with my friends or going to the cinema.  Here is an admittance too, I am HIGHLY suggestible in social situations. At least, in a food sense.  If people are eating around me it's almost as if, a switch flips mentally and it feels fine to eat too. Someone says take-away, I nod, then end up eating pizza or chicken till I am full and fighting the urge to regurgitate it all, as soon as possible. Vomiting has been replaced in my mental guilt triggers. I now choke very easily and sometimes will gag.

Lately, the binge eating has been getting out of control again.  No reason that I can fathom, except for the fact that we've been quite social, eaten out a few times.  One thing I am noting, the more I eat, the more it takes for me to feel full at home. My man and I are creatures of habit too, which can often make me want to eat certain foods on certain days.  The anticipation of  those foods, makes me hungry and unfulfilled if I don't get them. I can't stand myself when I relapse,  it has to stop now.

In a side note: I don't need motivational lessons and critique's from the skinny carers, who see me in the shower every day. Nether do I need them, reminding how well I was doing. It only makes me want to lock myself up and stick my fingers down my throat.  I'm trying I really am......

Normal chat will resume next post..

Sorry for not writing more often. I haven't had a lot to report, which seems like a good thing.

Anyhow, you'll get a bigger post after the 17th, when I have been to see my consultant at GYN. I can report that I am still yet to have a period and that technically, I am  2 months "overdue. " anyone with PCOS, will relate to the feeling that dates don't count for much anymore, not at this stage anyway. It's just a case of waiting to see if you get one EVER.

On a slightly lighter note : Over the last few weeks, my man has seemed a little bit indifferent to the baby question. We did agree NOT to let it take over our lives, so we are pretty relaxed as a whole. It's always been important to enjoy our relationship and each other, first.

However, it seems fate is poking us. We have a favourite restaurant we eat at regularly, we go on a Saturday and it's always full of kids and their families. We always seem to see the CUTEST babies (note: I'm not broody to the extent that seeing babies gets to me hugely, so I'm not looking for them) My man always notices them before me and will say "look behind you, that little girl's amazing!" He then does the pulling faces thing and gets all kids around him giggling like mad! It's the most magical thing to me, especially since he can be a grumpy fuck at times. It gives me hope! I just knows he's going to be an amazing dad.

That's all for now. More soon.

Slight change of web address. The address is now : http://morethan1.50webs.com

Please update your linx. Thanks all xx

Right, let's see. My Fiance moved in December, since then I have only had 2 periods. One in December and One in February. There where five weeks between them, based on that 5 week gap, I estimated I was due for another period on March 17th, it never arrived. It's now 21st April. I am over a month late. Blah, I am always the same and it's tiresome.
 Add to that, the fact that I'm too sore for sex anyway. My Clitoral hood is always sore... it sort of feels like the hood has torn or will tear if it's rubbed or touched, I itch so bad it makes me cry (privately) I just finished my second course of Fluconazole and use generic 1% topical thrush cream whenever it flares up. I've tried everything I can think of, even  using my own towels and face clothes down below, anything so I don't cross contaminate.
 
Recently, I've been reading about foods that encourage Candida (the yeast germ that causes thrush)
According to http://www.pureliquidgold.com/candida-diet.htm :

 " Candida thrives on carbohydrates, preserved refined foods and mold. Also foods that contain yeast and gluten, a wheat bread protein.

Avoid dairy products except (Live cultured yogurt which helps to replenish your intestinal bacteria). Smoked, dried, pickled or cured foods, mushrooms, nut butter (Except almonds and almond butter), fruit juices, dried or candied fruit and coffee, black tea, caffeine, carbonated drinks and alcohol should be eliminated."

So, like a good girl, I gave up fruit juice and bread (except for a treat) I eat yogurt every day and limit my sweet consumption to movie night, I have about 4 glasses of carbonated pop a week and the coffee and tea I drink is all decaff. Camomile is my drink of choice most days. Blah, I am trying really hard. Seriously, I am considing going Gluten-free too, since my weight is up and down more often than a whore's panties.
My Fiance spoils me and occasionally buys me sweets. He hates to see my guilt when I eat them. Now's my time to enjoy being spoiled, so I have just a few rules - Drink Plenty, eat good quantities of fruit and veg and remember to eat my cereals every day.

Dear readers, I have such an obsessive compulsive approach to food, monitoring every single mouthful is important, as I have a mournful tendancy to binge eat. This is due to my having Bulimia for about a year when I first left home. It was largely ignored when I told those close to me about three years later. Mainly because, I got hugely fat and not bone skinny.

Bulimia is a very misunderstood disorder indeed. It doesn't always manifest in huge weightloss. It is a binge and purge disorder. I would eat tons and then vomit. Strangly, normal meals where ok for me. It was at night that I'd pack away 3 chocolate bars and 3 bags of crisps and then puke. I puked because I felt guity for being unhealthy, not because I worried I would get fat! Perhaps, there was a loneliness factor in there too,
 Anyway, on the subject of  such things, I can't tell you how proud I am of ex politician John Prescott. He is a big chap, who has recently talked of being Bulimic, and I'm telling ya kids, he's a big guy. Not skinny at all. Read about it here I'm going to forward this to certain folks in my life, who dismissed my suffering, because "I'm Fat". One in the eye, I feel!

In other news : My appointment with GYN is on 17th May. It seems, that my doctor forgot to tell the consultant about my persist thrush! I only told him 2000000 million times.  Why oh why wasn't it included in the details of my referral FFS!? Now I have to call and inform them myself! GRRRRR... I'll keep you updated.

I thought I'd start by giving you some background on my early experiences in dealing with my reproductive health as a teen.

I believe my problems started when, at aged 13 or so, my Dr. recommended get the pill. The plan was to stop my periods entirely. They were horribly painful and he genuinely felt it would be better for me NOT to have periods at all. He was a trusted family GP who I liked and respected. To this day, I don't think he was practising "Menstrual Management" in a cruel sense.

I googled and tried to find a link, to help explain what the term means. I only found articles relating to "MM" in mentally disabled women, Odd that. Basically, it's a regime of contraceptive medication or surgery, used to prevent periods and/or pregnancy in those unable to attend to their own personal hygiene without significant help or "the ability" to  make considered choices about their own sexuality .It's a controversial area indeed, one that I'm sure I'll comment on later!  

In the case of my doctor though,   I think he was just trying to help with pain and flow management - my periods have always been heavy.  Now, one could argue, that this decision was bound to cause problems in later life. My mother has always maintained, that it's the SOLE reason I have issues now and bitterly regrets going along with it. I will come back to this later, because I am curious as to whether it is still used by doctors today AND whether it happens more often among disabled patients than non-disabled ones. What are your experiences?

The rest of my adult history reads like a catalog of silliness.

I came off on and off the pill a few times over the years.
Developed facial hair when I was 19.
Wasn't sexually active 'til  I was 26
Had irregular periods the whole time.
Tried for a baby with my ex. Had no periods at all in the 4 years I was with him.
Didn't fall pregnant (thank goodness) lol
Was (ill) advised to go on Depo-Provera by family planning.
They claimed it would help my periods regulate once I came off it.
Stayed on Depo for 3 months! read that again, a mere 3 months.
Came off Depo, because it was making me insane and I refused to go through that.
 Didn't get periods for 3 YEARS!! Yes,dear readers - none at all!
Had pregnancy symptoms, vertigo, CRAPPY MOODS, suicidal thoughts and depression
Was stuck with a doctor who wouldn't help me. Til I begged for a referral
Had a scan of my ovaries - nothing showed.

NOW...

I have a great man we would like to take our time enjoying practicing making babies. If we get pregnant,great but we aren't going to let it take over our lives... but...now

I am lucky if I have a period every 3-5 months
I've had tons of negative pregnancy tests.
I get hideous recurrent thrush like symptoms. Along with itchy lumps on my Labia and Clitoris.
I still have facial hair.
A new doctor IS doing something - suspects PCOS
I've had another Ovarian scan (more on this next entry)

So that's where we are now, yay fun isn't it!  Welcome along on the itchy road. hahhaa! More tomorrow. Comments welcome

Well, it's the health blog of a 30 something women who is getting married in 2010. My fiance is a lovely comicbook loving geek. I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy. You should know, that I usually loathe discussing my disability. I am not one of those women who defines her social life and personality via her disability. You'll never find me choosing "wheelyQT" as a username, or any other such rot. Yes, I use a wheelchair but I don't go to disabled lunchclubs or list disabled as an "interest" on yahoo membergroups.
  Being disabled is something I deal with every day and am tired of. I see myself as a person who was brought up to excist on a level pegging with the rest of the world. I have no disabled friends locally because, most of them attended disabled school here (The same one I attended til I was 4) They are all my age, yet dress like they fell into the cheap bin at the a Cancer Research shop and died happy! It worries me, it really does. They all have carers the same as I do but look scruffy and smell of wee.
  I don't judge all disabled people by the same standards that I see all too regularly here, but it is unbelievable really. I think it may be a generational thing,  because at the colleges now, there is a healthy crop of young disabled people who think like me. They dress according to their own taste, have great style and are treated with adult respect. Harrah!

and so...

I am  32 years old and I am what should consider alternative. In the 80s/early 90s  I loved bands like Poison, The Quireboys, Pretty Boy Floyd , Tigertailz, Tuff and Extreme. Along with T-Rex, Bowie, The Beatles, Adam Ant  and Placebo. So you can expect me to be out-spoken and forthright!

I have gender issues that are complicated and as such, won't be discussed here. If you want to learn more about me generally, read my various blogs all refering to different aspects of my life. They can be found at http://morethan1.50webs.com/

Anyway....

 I am hugely digressing. This is a health blog, yes! Started because I have a non existant monthly cycle and re occuring thrust infections, along with things that feel like thrush and drive me mad. I need to make a note of things and have a place to rant. I have a hard time being a girl, but I would dearly like a baby in the next couple of years. So this is the place I'll talk Periods, Doctors, tests, infections, pregnancy tests, weightloss and such. Here, I am 100 percent female! Gah.. what a thought. Oh ...

By the way.

I've read a lot of "trying to concieve" sites.  A lot, if not all of them use coded language for sex, vaginal fluid, monthly flow and intimate body areas. Such as :

2WW (aka. TWW) ~ Two Week Wait - Luteal Phase - 14 days after ovulation
AF ~ Aunt Flo, menstruation, period
AH ~ Assisted Hatching
AI ~ Artificial Insemination
AKA ~ Also Known As

BABY ASPIRIN ~ a/k/a children's aspirin which contains only 81mg of aspirin used to quiet immune system
BBT ~ Basal Body Temperature
BD ~ Baby Dance, Sex
Beta ~ Blood test for PG
BFN ~ Big Fat Negative (Pregnancy Tests)
BFP ~ Big Fat Positive (Pregnancy Test)
 BC ~ Birth Control
BCP ~ Birth Control Pills
BBs - BooBies AKA Breasts, Boobs, funbags etc
 

CB ~ Cycle Buddy - Same cycle day as yourself!
CD ~ Cycle Day
CL ~ Corpus Luteum
CM~ Cervical Mucus, Icky Sticky
CP ~ Cervical Position
C# - Cycle Number
CP - Cervical Position

DD ~ Dear Daughter
DH~ Dear Husband
DP ~ Dancing Partner; spouse, or significant other
DPO ~ Days Past Ovulation  
DTD ~ Doing The Dance, BD, sex
DUST ~ Alumnae sprinkle PG Dust~*~*~*~*~*~ on us TTCers
DPT - Days Post-Transfer

EC ~ Embryo Cyro/Freezing
EDD ~ Estimated Due Date
EPO ~ Evening Primrose Oil
EWCM ~ Egg-White Cervical Mucus
ER ~ Egg Retrieval
ET ~ Egg transfer
EPT ~ Early Pregnancy Test

FMU ~ First morning urine

GP ~ General Practitioner
Gyno ~ Gynocologist

hCG ~ Human Chorionic Gonadotropin - detected in HPTs
HPT ~ Home Pregnancy Test
HSG ~ Hysterosalpingogram - x-ray

ICSI Microfertilization
IUI ~ Intrauterine Insemination
IVF ~ In Vitro Fertilization

KEGELS ~ The muscle used to stop the flow of urine.

LH ~ Luteinizing Hormone - detected in OPKs
LOL ~ Laughing Out Loud
LP ~ Luteal Phase, days between ov & AF
LMAO ~ Laughing my ass off
LAP ~ Laparoscopy
LMP ~ Last Menstrual Period
LSP ~ Low Sperm Count

MC, m/c ~ Miscarriage
MF ~ MaleFactor
MIL ~ Mother in law
M/S, MS ~ Morning Sickness

O or OV ~ Ovulation
OH ~ Other Half
OPK ~ Ovulation Predictor Kit
OB/GYN ~ Obstetrician/Gynecologist
OMG ~ Oh My God

PG ~ Pregnancy, pregnant
PNV ~ Prenatal Vitamin
PCO ~ Polycystic Ovaries
PCOD ~ Polycystic Ovary Disease
PCOS ~ Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
PMS - Pre-menstrual Syndrome
POAS - Pee on a stick (Home Pregnancy Test)

RE ~ Reproductive Endocronolgist - doctor who specializes in fertility problems
R-FSH - Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone

SOD ~ Sex on Demand
SA ~ Semen Analysis
SAHD ~ Stay-At-Home Dad
SIL ~ Sister in law
STD ~ Sexually Transmitted Disease

TCOYF ~ *“Taking Charge of Your Fertility*” by Toni Weschler
TR ~ Tubal Reversal
TTC ~ Trying To Conceive
TMI ~ Too Much Information
TR - Tubal Reversal
TIA ~ Thanks in Advance
TWW ~ Two week wait

U/S - Ultrasound
UTI - Urinary Tract Infection

Frankly, I find MOST of this stuff TWEE and juvenile. I will probably use some of the terms listed here, especially in regard to medical tests and conditions. That said, Sex is NOT a  "baby dance" and Pregnancy is not PG!  - in the UK PG is a brand of tea and a movie rating.  While I'm about it, my boobs are not BBs!  I'm an adult and speak frankly in life, so this blog will be the same. I don't need 'baby dust' or 'a cycle buddy'. What I do need though, is a disabled friend with kids, who has been there and is a real person!  *bows*

So this is me and my life. Feel free to say hi and comment! I don't bite really ;-)